The Mary Brady Test

Centuries ago, when Facebook first came to Georgetown, there were a number of Mary Brady groups that seemed to pop up over night; this seemed to both annoy and amuse Dr. Brady. Admission into one of these groups involved passing an insane test that was a full-on “Mary Brady” in its requirements; it was closely modeled after many of the tests she gave us in her classes (although this test is far more ridiculous than any test she ever gave us). When she saw the test, she laughed at it before telling us to get out of her office so she could get back to work.

For your amusement, here is that test:

To join, please review the following application.

Name:
Class rank:
Number of Mary Brady classes completed:
Please list these classes.

Those wishing to join the club who have not had any Mary Brady classes should write a detailed essay explaining why they should be admitted without meeting this basic criteria.

All applicants (even those lacking basic requirements, as noted above) MUST complete the following 20 questions. Leaving a question blank results in an automatic failure, so you must at least attempt each answer. Each question is weighted differently (like on the GRE), although only the test administrators know what this weighting system is. You may only take the exam once and you may not receive help from anyone else, especially Mary Brady. As a Georgetown College student, you are expected to abide by the Honor System, which you signed in blood your freshman year.

1. Which room, according to Mary Brady, should be painted red and why?
2. What are “Do Me” shoes? Extra points if you know who she accused of wearing them.
3. Which popular chain garment store is Mary Brady fascinated with?
4. What brand of cigarettes does Mary Brady smoke?
5. What kind of food does Mary Brady hate?
6. What is Mr. Brady’s first name?
7. What sport did Mary Brady participate in while a student at UK? Extra points for specificity.
8. Name 3 of the chivalric codes and indicate how Sir Gawain embodies them.
9. Using the closest spelling approximation possible, please indicate at least one “Mary Brady” sound.
10. True or false: Mary Brady always answers her door promptly.
11. What year did Mary Brady win the John Walker Manning Award for excellence in teaching?
12. What did Mary Brady buy with the prize money for the John Walker Manning Award for excellence in teaching?
13. What is Mary Brady’s maiden name?
14. Who is Mary Brady’s sister?
15. What does Mary Brady call her mother?
16. Compare the old heroic code to the new heroic code and explain how this is demonstrated in Beowulf.
17. What does Mary Brady think about the Wife of Bath?
18. Explain the concept of “the other” as it relates to Jungian psychology and give relevant examples pertaining to American literature.
19. How did Mary Brady break her foot?
20. In no less than 300 words, please explain why you should be accepted for membership into the Red Room. Be sure to support your ideas with examples and, when direct quotes and paraphrases are used, be sure to use proper MLA citation. You are expected to use no fewer than 12 scholarly sources to write this essay (you may use web sources, but they will not count toward you source quota). Make sure to type your essay in Times New Roman 12, and that you double space the document and have 1 inch margins all around. Plagiarism shan’t be tolerated. Please refer to the Georgetown College Honor Code.

Thank you for applying for membership into the Red Room. You application must be emailed to [redacted] for consideration.

Please allow 4 – 6 weeks for your application to be processed. You will be notified via your wall as to the status of your membership.

Feel free to debate the answers to these questions in the comments.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “The Mary Brady Test

  1. John Brady

    Please email me and tell me which room should be painted red and why. I am embarrased to say that I don’t know this answer.

    • Liz Stout

      I would be 90% certain to say that she said it was the bedroom…I am crossing my fingers that I’m right lol, but I specifically remember that comment from Freshman year (I graduated in 05)
      *Part of the “Brady Cult” who nominated her for Best Professer 🙂

  2. Liz Stout

    SO…..I never knew about this “Mary Brady Test”…this is hysterical 🙂
    I am impressed that I can still answer over half of them, especially #2 because it is definitely about ME 🙂
    Mary loved to cause a RIOT when I wore those shoes, especially at 11 in the morning (I thought that’s what everyone wore to the Caf!!)…I can’t get rid of them to this day, such fond memories 🙂

    2. What are “Do Me” shoes? Extra points if you know who she accused of wearing them.

    • GLP

      Liz, I think we made this before you got Facebook because I swear you only got Facebook like one minute ago. Besides, you’re a founding member of the Brady Cult.

      Anyway, yes indeed, you’re the answer to number 2. And the official answer is “bedroom” on the other one. She said something about red being the color of passion, criticized people painting their kitchens (or something) that color and then joked that you ought to paint the bedroom red. (This may actually explain why red is the dominate color in my apartment, come to think of it. Wow. Weird).

  3. Jamie Allen/Amy Hogue

    me and ames just got a good laugh out of this one…good memories of that fine lady 🙂

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